Confession. I bought T-Rex’s birthday cake. Hmm…I thought confessing would make me feel better. Nope. I did at least have a coupon. And Publix makes really good cake. And the smash cake was free. Still don’t feel better. It sure did taste good though. And it was cute. Sigh. I give up.
On October 5, while driving to the grocery store by myself, I started my fall freak-out session. In that rare moment of solitary silence when I could actually think, I realized sometimes it’s better not to think. It was in that moment while approaching the train tracks that I realizedÂ I had just hit the craziest part of my year. In addition to the normal Halloween costuming, Thanksgiving cooking, and Christmas giving of the next three months I also had 2 weeks of family guests, T-Rex’s first birthday, a two week trip to the Great North (which for us also means locating a full winter wardrobe for 2 weeks), two nieces first birthdays, my Dad’s birthday, a brother-in-law’s birthday, and days after we return home from the Great North, Little Miss Sunshine’s third birthday. I crossed the tracks (my thoughts happened that quickly – there was no train!) and started telling myself “breathe, just breathe, breathe, go to the grocery store, breathe.” My mind hasn’t stopped racing since then.
I make lists. Halfway through the list, I start a new list. Then I make lists of my lists. Then I crumple them up and start it all over the next day. Yesterday, I gave up on lists and just figured that if I didn’t do something, the only person who wouldn’t know was me, well and anyone who walks into our home and sees the BLACK grout that is gray in non-traffic areas and the spots on the carpet and the million projects strewn across my crafting desk.
In my dream world I’d love to have thoughtful, handmade gifts for everyone, a home made cake for all my kids birthdays, and a slew of happy warm memories. Happy warm memories survived the crumpling of the lists. Over the past month I’ve been telling myself to not just move through the motions of these crazy months but to soak them in and enjoy them. If that means shopping deals instead of sewing (which it absolutely does) then so be it. I tried so hard to gear up all year for this season, but with a newborn and a toddler, (now two toddlers) it just didn’t happen. And so I just keep doing the next thing. Costuming finished, fabulous and happy warm memories of the time. T-Rex’s birthday finished and an absolutely GORGEOUS day at the park filled with friends and a yummy (gulp) Publix cake. A fabulous week visit with the in-laws and a million warm happy memories. I just keep doing the next thing (and at times the next three things).Â I’m really not willing to sacrifice those matching pajamas that I have cut out for the kids and their cousins for Christmas, so that is my next thing. One at a time. NEXT!!!