I’ve found myself rather reflective the past two months since our trek north. Unfortunately, the reflections haven’t translated into words, and especially not words typed on the screen. I’m being patient with myself and our transition process, and in a way I’m honoring the deep changes with silence. A golden silence. And the permission to just think and not translate those thoughts into stories or funny quotes. I’m just enjoying life in the real world, soaking in the sunshine and watching in wonder as life changes from dormant to alive, and letting that same process happen in the depths of my soul without having to define it or explain it. It was unsettling at first to just let thoughts float in and out of my head and roll around in the back of my brain and then just let them pass. Maybe I’ve let a lot of good moments go that should be remembered. Maybe the memory will be caught in the change that happens in me. Or maybe none of it matters, it just is.
This weekend we’ll be taking a 5-hour road trip to my parents home. So many of these new adventures are bringing up old, familiar memories and feelings. This is the life we used to live, before kids. Now, they get to share it with us. We’ll be hanging out with my parents and my brother and his family. Four kids aged 4 and under = fun, fun, fun. This is why we came back. The last time we saw my brother and his family was in October, for one brief day. I’m looking forward to 5 hours in the car of knitting and chatting with The Narrator, well that is if the kids sleep, which I’ve timed the trip so that they should, and then a weekend full of Mom’s cooking and SUNSHINE!!
I also wanted to let you know that I received an honorable mention for the May Write Away contest over at Scribbit. Be sure to check out the winning entry and the other honorable mentions. Many thanks to Michelle for hosting this contest.
Have a very Happy Memorial Day weekend. Remember it’s about more than just grilling out and opening the pool. Take a moment to remember those who have given their lives so we can gather freely. Here’s my Memorial Day Tribute.