Just poke my eye out while you're at it!

We’ve been here a year, and I’m finally getting all our medical stuff transfered and set up. That’s quite a bit for a whole family – eye drs, dentists, pediatrician, dr for me, one for hubby…. and not to mention how much I hate having to do all things medical. I’m rather squeamish. Ok, very squeamish. I once passed out getting an immunization. In high school. In fact, the nurse’s son was in my youth group and that night by the time I got to youth choir practice, everyone knew about my fainting episode. That must have been before the days of patient/client confidentiality. I think I slugged him one. He deserved it.

Anyway, Friday I went to the eye doctor. This one is usually my least painful of the medical exams, even though it’s full of such pressure. I can’t stand it when they show me these images and ask me which one is clearer “A, or B… A, or B… A, or B” I can always tell by the third time that the technician is trying to be patient, but is ready to move on already. It’s so much pressure! If I answer incorrectly, I might not be able to see well! And my eyes are bad enough to begin with. Half the time I end up answering, “Ummm….neither really.” And I mean it!

Last Friday was quite the doozy of a visit. They were extra thorough (surely it couldn’t be because I’m in my 30’s now???). Then they put these drops in my eyes that burn, baby, burn! As if the burning wasn’t enough, then they shine this super bright light right in front of your eyeball. And then she sneak attacked the drops to dilate my eyes. I’ve tried to avoid that as often as I can. I’ve always had some lame legitimate excuse. “I’m pregnant.” or “I’m breastfeeding.” (I mean the drops COULD get in my milk right? And we don’t want to harm the baby’s vision!) Or the “I’m just not feeling well today and I have to drive myself home.” Well, this gal must have seen me coming. She asked, “You’ve had your eyes dilated before, right?” And she had that bottle hovering over my eyes before I barely had “yes” out of my lips. AH! She was too quick for me to make an excuse! She then led me stumbling down the hallway to the next room where I waited for the doctor. Grrr. I had driven myself in hopes of making it to the grocery on my way home.

After the exam (during which the doctor took a cell phone call…I was sooo not happy at this point! Tired Momma with burning, dilated eyes!!) I headed out to my car with my awesome sunglasses on. I made it to the grocery across the street only to realize I couldn’t read my list. I held my list way far out, then super close, then somewhere in the middle I found a distance that if I closed one eye, I could read it. Sorta. I’m sure I looked ridiculous in the store. I finally gave up and got what I could remember and headed home, shy a few items. My mother-in-law was headed out as I got home and she said she’d get what I hadn’t. She went over the list with me and when I answered, “I got plain yogurt,” she looked at me, and even though I couldn’t see well, I could sense she wanted to chuckle. “No, what you got was strawberry yogurt.” Doggone it!! All I could do was laugh, and then lay down on the couch to rest my weary eyes.