Grocery Drama

On a recent visit to my parent’s home, I was running a few errands solo when I decided to stop by a discount grocery store for a few items. I was unfamiliar with this area of town and realized when I stepped into the grocery that it might not have been the best place to go alone. Undeterred, I started down the first aisle looking for spiral pasta. Two women walked into the store behind me, and one started to narrate rather loudly her shopping trip.

“Ooooh yeah, baby! I’m gonna get me some pork rinds, yeah and I’m gonna eat some pork rinds tonight, Uh-huh!!”

I did my best not to turn around and stare, and kept working through my short list while listening to the narration that continued behind me. The store is set up in a fashion that you can see across the aisles, giving everyone in the store a view of this annoyingly loud customer. As I turned the corner and started down the second aisle, I chanced a quick glance into the first aisle to get a look at this obnoxious woman who seemed determined we all know her opinions of each item in the store. No sooner had I turned my eyes back to my list when I heard a very loud, “I SAW YOU LOOK AT ME LIKE I WAS ALL GHETTO!”

I’m sure my eyes got as wide as dinner plates and it took everything within me to keep my laughter from exploding like a geyser. I saw a customer next to me look at me with disdain. I’m not one to usually pick a fight in the grocery store, or anywhere for that matter. In my half-second glance I had surmised that the loud narrating woman was about twice my size, but I figured I could outrun her. However, since I really needed the items on my list so I could make a salad for a party the next day, I decided to ignore the comment, keep my eyes forward, and find those yellow and red peppers as fast as I could.

Some people seek attention in the most unusual ways.

Million dollar moment #19