Our fledgling relationship began to take flight through these letters. Even though we were both busy with school, youth group, work, and college preparations, the length and depth of our letters increased through the months. We shared hopes, dreams, fears, prayer requests, the ache to be together, and the more-than-occasional frustration with how slow the mail could be.
It was so good to hear your voice!! I needed so badly to talk to you. I miss you SO much! More than you could ever imagine; words can’t describe it. Each day I miss you so much more. At times I don’t know how I’ll survive, yet the Lord is continually there supplying me with His strength.
I’m sorry you didn’t get all my letters last week. I really did mail them! I haven’t been too happy with the Postal service all week. That means you’ll get twice as many this week! 🙂
I was talking to my Mom about Cornerstone University this week. She says the Lord works in mysterious ways; she is convinced that’s where I’ll go. I’d LOVE to go there – I really would. It seems like a neat place and it has everything I’m looking for. (Plus an added incentive!)
I am so blessed to have found someone like you, Ked. I always told the Lord what I was looking for, and you exceeded every standard I ever set. It’s so unreal, how it all came about. I never dreamed (well, I did, but never really thought it possible.) I really thought if the Lord would ever choose to bring us together, it would be years down the road. I was prepared to wait too – I really was! One would think that after a month (has it really been a month?!) that it would seem a little less amazing to me. But it’s not. In fact, I am more and more amazed to see how He has worked. What the Lord can do with two souls dedicated to Him is beyond our earthly comprehension. I’m so glad He’s in control; I have such peace. When I’m with you I don’t have a care in the world. I’m by your side and that’s where I want to be. I wish I could see you more, but I keep reminding myself, God has a purpose here for me this year. Next year? Maybe I will get to see you a lot more! Until that time, each day I appreciate you more and more.
It’s late, I’m exhausted, and I haven’t been feeling the greatest either. So, goodnight and I love you! Miss ya lots!
PS – write soon, remember it’s the Post Man’s fault – not mine!!
We were thankful that our parents were friends and didn’t mind seeing each other a little more often. We’d occasionally arrange a meet-up in Ft. Wayne, Indiana which was about half way for both of us. There were a few times my church youth group went to Ft. Wayne for an outing and Ked would drive down just to join us for the event.
We started to write so many letters that they often crossed in the mail. It became a challenge to remember which answers went to which questions, or even what the questions might have been! There was one “big” question, however, that came up fairly early in our relationship. Ked broached the topic in a letter, then waited anxiously for my reply.
Well I’m home. We got home around 9:00 and now it’s 11:30. I can’t stop thinking about you. It was so good to see you today! It wasn’t very long but I’m still thankful!! I feel kinda small right now! I forgot to tell you I love you. One of the few times I can say it face to face and…..? I love you SO much! I also forgot to tell you how beautiful you look. It always amazes me to see your beautiful face and know there is so much more! You will never know how much you mean to me!
Amy… I need your help! Every day I love you more and more. I’ve waited so long for something real, and now I’m scared of losing you. My mom the other day was telling me of all the responsibility I have now (as if she needs to remind me). And how ladies look for a strong leader. I am so afraid of being a hypocrite. I don’t know, well I do know. I’m not used to the position I’m in. I’ve never gained or given so much from/to one person in my life. I never thought it would be this wonderful. I am so afraid of messing up. I can’t tell you how much I’ve gained from this relationship. My prayer every day is that Christ will be in full control and that we won’t do anything contrary to His will for us. I would hate to think about our relationship out of Gods will! I am so afraid of making one wrong step! I think you’re the only one who can understand.
I can’t tell you how scared I am! I can describe it like this: I remember when my Mom came home with the twins. She sat me down on the couch and handed me this tiny, living, breathing baby. I was scared to death. Amy, your love is the same way. I am so scared of hurting or taking your love for granted. I wish you could understand how much your love means to me.
Did you hear my mom when she was walking up to your door? She said, “What are you doing knuckle-head? Kiss the girl!!) Well, well, well!!! Every time Ryan sees me after I’ve seen you he asks, “Have you kissed her yet?” Then he says, “WHY NOT??” Can you believe he even told his cousin? We were sitting at lunch and there were only three of us at the table. One asked, “Why haven’t you kissed your woman yet? Just as he said that, a girl pipes up, “You haven’t kissed your girlfriend yet?!” I’m just sitting there like, “Ryan, you’re toast!” Then the girl says, “She’s going to think you don’t like her.” So I have to defend myself, right? I told em I’m sure you know. But that still didn’t stop them. One said I should talk to you about this over the phone, and another said, “No way! Face to face!” But I’m not brave for either one, so I’m writing. Like I said, I don’t want to do or not do anything that could hurt our relationship. If that’s not passing the bag, I don’t know what is. O-well. So now you know. That’s prob the best I can do.
Amy, I miss you SO MUCH!