I’d much rather give help than ask for it. I suppose it’s part pride, part not wanting to be a burden or a bother.
Yesterday morning I had a mini-meltdown. I was overwhelmed with my book project, laundry, dishes, and a five-year-old who does not go to school everyday and especially misses his sister on Mondays. By noon, I had resigned myself that I might not get to write a single word that day. I felt like a horrible mom to keep saying, “Not right now. Please, just give me 20 minutes to finish this stuff!” With the pressure of a looming deadline, I did what any reasonable woman does. I sat down for a little cry.
In the midst of my tears I felt God speak to my spirit, “You’re wasting time with this little pity party. Ask for help.”
I sat up, still sniffling, and began to pray. I confessed that I cannot do these things alone. I cannot be a writer/mother/wife/Bible Study Fellowship leader and do any of them well without God’s help.
Then I felt God whisper, “Keep going. You know what’s next.”
I choked down my pride and sent my in-laws an e-mail asking if there might be any Mondays that they would have free for T-Rex to hang out with them. Within a couple hours, we had worked out a schedule for the next few Mondays. I know that T-Rex and Papa will both have fun making memories.
I felt peace for the first time that day, and I began to relax. I finished the chores. I built a fort that took up the entire living room. I played sword fight on the Wii and let T-Rex win (don’t tell him!). We even worked on his letters and numbers.
Then my sister-in-law showed up with soup for dinner. She has four kids aged 3 and under. I should be the one making her dinner! Yet she insists that to make a little extra for us is no big deal. It’s a big deal to me.
Another friend sent me a message just to stay she prayed for me and my family that day. This time, the tears were out of thankfulness for the blessings I knew I did not deserve.
I asked for help. I received way more than I asked for. And somewhere in the course of that day, I wrote 1/4 of a chapter, and I didn’t even stay up past 11 p.m!