Earlier this spring I heard about a writing/speaking seminar that sounded interesting. The conference was out of state and I knew the only way I could afford to go this year was to receive a scholarship. I applied for two different ones and didn’t even get close. I was pretty discouraged with the results of one of the scholarships in particular. Even though the hosts said how prayerfully they considered each entry and believed that God would provide a way for everyone who needs to be there, I think I *might* have rolled my eyes before correcting my attitude and responding with a polite “thank you for reading my piece.”
I didn’t think too much more about it and figured “someday.”
A few weeks ago I was reminded about a conference here in town that I had considered going to the past two years, but the timing of our moves and house building had prevented me from being able to go. The conference came up in two different “random” conversations, so I thought maybe I should look into it again. After exchanging a few question and answer e-mails with the seminar administrator, she offered me a scholarship to attend at a discount. I hadn’t even asked for one. I. Was. Floored. And humbled.
When I mentioned it to Ked he said, “I think you are supposed to go to this one.” I was hesitant to attend because I knew this particular conference was more intense than the other one and required quite a bit of homework up front (as in SEVEN 3-5 minute talks prepared ahead of time!). It’s definitely going to stretch me out of my comfort zone. So, with a bit of fear and trembling I accepted and registered. And do I ever have my work cut out for me since the conference is just a month away!
I realized that when one door doesn’t open, it might not mean “no” or “not right now” it might mean, “not the right one, keep moving forward and I’ll show you the right door.” But if we stop knocking, stop trying, we might miss the door He’s waiting to throw wide open.
I really don’t have any idea where God is taking me. But, He keeps reminding me (through friends willing to speak the truth) to just move forward one day at a time and that He reveals just what we need to know for now.