Why I won't cry on Tuesday

Or at least not cry for very long!

These two cuties are headed to school on Tuesday. For T-Rex, it’s his first time going to school. Riding the bus. Eating lunch in the cafeteria. All day. Three days a week.

Last week we met the teachers and delivered the school supplies. We were running out of time and Kedron asked T-Rex if he wanted to do a practice bus ride. He replied, “Nah, I’m a pro. I’ve already done it twice – with Sissy last year and then at Safety Town.” Then he insisted that the teacher we met wasn’t the same one who sent him a letter and picture of herself this summer. When we insisted she was he said, “No, the lady in the picture had shinier teeth!”

My mom asked me if I was going to cry on the first day of school. I shrugged my shoulders and said, “Probably not. I mean, I’ll probably get a lump in my throat, but I doubt I’ll cry.”

She chuckled then said, “Ok, I’ll cry for you.” Then there was a pause and she said, “But come to think of it, I don’t think I cried when you and your brother went to school!”

I don’t want to cry because this is such a monumental occasion for them, and I don’t want them to see me sad and then think that they should be sad. This is a rite of passage, and something they are both so very, very excited about. And they should be excited. They have a great school, with great teachers, and great friends. Crying would just be for me, for my own sadness at how fast they are growing up. But even then, I have a hard time being sad to the point of tears about that. This is the way God intended it. Babies grow into children who begin to stretch their wings in safe environments and learn how to live – how to handle conflict, how to learn, and how to navigate who sits with who on the bus (which they have already discussed at length with their neighbor friends).

I’m incredibly proud of them both. I’ve watched them learn to be good friends and deal with disappointment appropriately, understand when it’s their turn to talk, and when it’s their turn to listen (well at least some of the time!). They’ve even begun to learn how to anticipate needs and meet them before being asked.

And so, Tuesday morning I will wave, give lots and lots of hugs, blow kisses from the sidewalk, and then rush to school to beat the bus and get pictures at school for the photo albums. Then I will go home to a quiet house and recover it from a summer of neglect.