Just a reminder that today is the last day to enter the giveaway for a copy of Carol Kent’s new book Unquenchable. Hop over to this post to enter.
Today I’m honored to share a guest post from my friend and author, Susie Finkbeiner. She shares today about the ordinary, yet beautiful ways we can offer comfort and mercy to those who are hurting. Susie’s newest novel, My Mother’s Chamomile, just released. At the end of this post, be sure to enter to win a copy of this beautiful book. You will love Susie, and her writing!
[pinit]
My Grandma Relf died in the middle of February my sophomore year in college. Close is a weak word to describe our relationship. In fact, I regularly prayed that Jesus would return before she died.
I didn’t think I could live without her.
When she died, I mourned deeply. I clearly recall sitting on my bed, staring at my Bible, completely unable to read the words.
At her funeral, a few of her friends from the retirement home where she lived hugged me, offered condolences. My favorite professor sat on one of the wooden folding chairs. A preacher I respected offered words of comfort.
That night, back in the dormitory, I got the call that my Grandma Riggs had died.
I felt wrung out. Exhausted. Raw.
I told me friend Nikki. Without hesitating, she grabbed hold of me. Hugging me for as long as I needed. Another friend ran to the store to get some ice cream. One grabbed a roll of toilet paper to dry my tears (we were college students, we could afford ice cream, but not tissues).
No one gave me a bundle of cash to make the sadness go away. I wasn’t swept away on a grand vacation to help me get over the grief. In fact, no one tried to take my mourning from me.
Instead, the people who loved me did what they could to offer comfort. And they offered out of what they had. Arms to hug. Time to be around. Whispers of encouragement.
They gave out of their ordinary.
How often have you been faced with the sorrow of someone you loved and thought, “I have nothing to give. I can’t help them”?
I’ve been there so many times.
In my novel My Mother’s Chamomile, I write about a family who is suffering. One afternoon, a local farmer comes by their house, asking if they wouldn’t mind if he mowed their lawn. He says that it wouldn’t take any time on his rider mower. Another friend pays for cleaning service. Others bring casseroles send cookies.
They do what they can to help ease pain.
What about us?
Can you make a meal? Order a pizza to be delivered to their house? How about offering to scrub a sink or mop a floor? A night of babysitting or a vase full of favorite flowers?
Can you write? Send a letter. Can you make a mean pot of coffee? Go on over with your beans and a jug of cream. Enjoy lawn work or shoveling? Well, get your gardening gloves out!
So often in my life, I’ve felt there was nothing I could do to take away the suffering of others. And I was right.
But I can ease that pain. And I can do it with the tools I have. The abilities God has given me.
Love your ordinary.
Love the ordinary ways you can pour out mercy on those around you.
And, when it’s time for you to receive comfort, love the ordinary of those who love on you.
Enter below for a chance to win a copy of Susie’s new novel. I will draw the winner next Monday, March 3!
Susie Finkbeiner is a novelist and short story writer from West Michigan. Her first novel “Paint Chips” released in 2013 with WhiteFire Publishing. In 2014, her second novel “My Mother’s Chamomile” releases with the same publisher. She is currently working on her third novel.
Susie is a wife, mother of three, and avid reader. She enjoys time with her family, coffee dates with her good friends, and quiet moments to read and write.
Visit her at www.susiefinkbeiner.com or follow her on twitter at @SusieFinkbeiner
Thank you so much for having me here today, Amelia!
Susie and Amelia, you are each such an inspiration to me! I have shared this on Twitter and Facebook. Thanks for being YOU! Great blogs, wonderful books, helpful posts!
Myrna
Oh, thank you, Myrna! You are such a sweet encourager!
Thank you so much for your encouragement Myrna!
Loss is so hard. It’s so hard because it was never part of the original plan. There is a day coming when we will get to be with all the people we’ve ever loved.
Jessie, my heart aches and longs for that day!
I’m really looking forward to that, Jessie!
Such a great reminder to allow people to grieve and how much a small gesture can mean. I need to read both of your books Susie 🙂
Hi, Lisa! I’ve been so touched by people who have reached out to others in seemingly small ways. However, it always seems like a much bigger deal to the people on the receiving end.
Lisa, you and Susie would really connect I think! You’ll have to meet her at Jot this month!!
Great post, Susie! When Josh’s dad died suddenly last year, we were stunned and thrown into the deepest grief we’d experienced. What helped all of our family the most were the people who acknowledged our grief with texts and calls to remind us they were praying for us and loved us, meals brought (since we could hardly function, let alone think about preparing meals), and particularly meaningful were people who just shared our shock and pain. Words such as “I can’t imagine what you’re going through” or “Oh my gosh, I hurt for you and wish there was more I could do” went a long way. They empathized. People sometimes mean well but totally say the wrong thing, thinking they are comforting. Definitely taught me some things to NOT say to people dealing with loss.
Christine, I truly cannot imagine that kind of grief. But I’m glad that you felt loved in the midst of it all. And, yes, some people say really awful things, mostly because they don’t know what to say. I’ve learned that, in those moments, it’s best to just hand over the casserole and keep my mouth shut. 🙂
Christine, I’m sure I’ve been in the camp of saying the wrong thing! I too have learned sometimes the best is just to be silent and offer a meal or an “I love you.” I’m so sorry for your loss. Your community sounds beautiful.
Amelia and Susie, 2 of my favorite people in one place! 😉 when Ryan’s dad died, our small group was amazing. They offered to watch my kids, brought us meals and visited us in the funeral home. I have never felt more loved.
I’m so glad you were loved like that. What a blessing.
February has been a hard month for me for 9 years. Nine years ago on Feb. 12th I lost my mom-her memorial service was Feb. 15th (my dad’s birthday-he died in 1980). On Feb. 18th, six days after my mom died, my sister-in-law died (we were very close). In spite of all that loss, all that heartache-my Father was so gracious and loving. He sent so much comfort and love. Even though it”s still hard nine years later He has never failed me. During my mom”s illness I had the privilege of writing bi-weekly letters to all her family and friends(near and far) to keep them apprised of her health. Through those letters a wonderful thing happened-my mom started getting letters, cards, flowers and visits from people she had not talked to in years! What a blessing for all of us. I hope to read your books soon Susie!
Kitty, What a beautiful blessing God gave you all through those letters. I often forget how helpful a letter or card or simple gift can be. Thank you for sharing your testimony of God’s love and faithfulness.
Thank you for sharing your story, Kitty. I am so glad your mom had such a loving support in you.